The Manifesto
Five points. Zero lies. The most honest political document India has ever read.
The Five-Point Plan
Universal Right to Laze
Every citizen has the constitutional right to do nothing on weekdays. Productivity is a capitalist conspiracy.
Free Wi-Fi for All
Bandwidth is a fundamental right. The chronically online deserve infrastructure, not lectures.
Unemployment Stipend
₹15,000/month for every unemployed citizen — by force, choice, or principle. Receipts not required.
Mandatory Honesty in Politics
Politicians who lie in public must perform stand-up comedy in their constituency. Audience votes.
Cockroach Conservation
Recognise the cockroach as the national symbol of resilience. Protect, celebrate, and emulate.
Election Symbol
A smartphone. With a cockroach on it. Together they represent the chronically online, perpetually resilient Indian citizen who refuses to die — politically, professionally, or otherwise.
Eligibility Criteria
Strict, non-negotiable, and proudly exclusive.
Unemployed by force, choice, or principle
Chronically online 11+ hours a day
Professional-grade ranting skills